Even "fuck" is not enough to translate my feelings and my emotions into words.
I fear depression will settle soon if I don't do anything about my current state of mind.
I have no living memory of having wept a single fucking tear in two years of hell, but I cannot understand nor do I believe why I almost broke down today. And it wasn't my philosophy text concerning personal identity and immortality - that shitty feeling can be overcome with deeper understanding.
