Hey friends. It's 2:01 AM in Bangkok right as you're reading this very sentence, and here I am listening to Chopin while writing this very message to you in a desperate attempt to dispel the anxiety that holds me.
In 5 hours, I will get to know whether I will be in the ROK Marines or not.
As you may or may not know, depending on whether there was an opportunity do so, all male x citizens are required to go through physical/mental examinations and serve some national duty. Upon applying to the Marines division, I entered a competitive admissions process in mid-June, where I had to be examined, interviewed and screened (I can tell you more about this process later!).
I applied to the Marines because I want to change - for better or worse - and grow before I resume my studies back in Vermont. Now, I don't know whether I will mature/grow in the military, but what I do know is that time will help me to see things differently - again, for better or worse, but I'm just banking on better.
I also applied to the military now because I wanted to take a break from school. No, nothing is wrong with college-level education, but I just hate the people there. Or is it? Maybe I hate the majority of Americans, but it's probably because I'm unconsciously comparing them to you Kyle, Moki and Joel. Or maybe I hate the actual social structure and the way things are in the real world. Or maybe that's the result of forced transitioning out from the "fantastic" bubble we grew up in during high school. Or maybe I'm just having a hard time waking up from being so disillusioned? I really don't like how I ended up here; I want to blame something or someone, but what will I get from it? How will I benefit? Am I only debilitating myself by pointing a finger?
I don't know the answer, but I will only give an indifferent shrug. What's happened has happened, and here I am to get up and go. Even though a lot of people have advised me against it, I want to go into the Marines.
Okay thanks for reading! Got that off my chest.
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