Day 44: Political correctness schmorrectness

Feeling excited for spring break!
It's 4:45 PM and it's a good 50' Fahrenheit outside
School is kicking my butt

I said "retard" in my paper. People got mad. I almost got lynched. Well, no... not really.

Political correctness is "a term applied to language, ideas, policies, or behavior seen as seeking to minimize offense to gender, racial, cultural, disabled, aged or other identity groups. Conversely, the term "politically incorrect" is used to refer to language or ideas that may cause offense or that are unconstrained by orthodoxy." (wiki/political_correctness)

Being "PC" (politically correct) is a big thing here in the United States of America, a modern melting pot of people groups of all sorts shapes and sizes: indigenous, minorities, colors, sexual orientation, race, language, class, disabled, disadvantaged, dis-this, dis-that, dis-anything, and dis-everything. Because human beings of Earth have these things called feelings, something that animals and plants obviously don't have, they just choose to be unnecessarily overly sensitive about words and terms that are derogatory or ... uhmm... just directed towards them.

Let's be honest here- what the heck? Somewhere along the line of history not too long ago, this somehow took an ugly turn and transformed into a yucky thing.

The best personal example I can come up with derives from having to write a creative paper for one of my classes.

So, one day, I was writing about how this imaginary alien race called the Zorquians viewed Earth's supposed-to-be-the-damn-truth biological history.

Here's what happened.

On Earth, it took underwater organisms 500 million years for them to evolve into ones that could live on dry land (like plants, for example).
On Zorq, however, it took them less than one million years.

Again, Zorq is non-existent, because it's imaginary. It's unreal. It's fictional. REMEMBER that (as well as this 4.6 billion year long evolutionary history, too, I suppose).

Thus, I wrote this: "Unlike Zorq, Earth's retarded life forms took them a painstaking 500 extra million years for them to evolve for them to be able to live on dry land."

Is there anything wrong with that sentence? Hmm... Let's see. Nope, not really. The organisms on the Zorquian planet evolved so much flipping faster than the ones on Earth! It only took them, say ... only a small portion of the time it took the human species to evolve into what they are. Or you can also say that Earth ones evolved 500 times much slower than the ones on Zorq.

So what does this mean? Well, compared to Zorquian organisms, Earth's must be really slow in development!!! NO DUH! And you can legitimately use the word 'retarded' for that reason and definition.

But some people here agree to disagree.

My paper was displayed on a screen for my whole class to see, and you can guess what happened when someone pointed out the R-word in my paper. The professor hurriedly corrected my political incorrectness, but I thank those who did not take my horrible terminology seriously. Sheesh.

It was even funnier when he commented:

"Well, that word (he didn't even bother to say the actual word out loud) IS used correctly, but... uhm... yes, it's not politically correct."

Doh.

I'm sorry that I used the R-word on some prehistoric group of organisms that existed millions of years ago on Earth. And for crying out loud, you can't really get mad at some non-existent alien race for thinking that they were ret- I mean, slow in development!!

Alright. Fine. I respect you sir. I understand where you are coming from. I will try to use that R-word less often in the future. I will try to be more political correct in the future, because the world should be a very happy and peaceful place where everyone will avoid mentioning and talking about possibly hurtful things.

But you know what, professor, I genuinely thank you for correcting me. I should be more careful in a sensitive community like ... Middlebury College. Probably anywhere in the United States.

But there is one case when you shan't use that word: when joking around and stuff. What if someone the other person was close to was really a retard? It's like pointing a "yo mama" joke to a classmate whose mama just passed away last week! Congratulations, you just became a butthole!

Anyways.

Enjoy a post from, again, V from ViolentAcres. This woman rocks my world.

I’m sick of political correctness.

I’m sick of wondering if the term African American is the only one available to me or is it ok to call someone a ‘black guy.’ I’m sick of covertly wording a sentence to describe someone only to leave out their color because I’m not sure how to do it non-racist-ly. I’m sick of avoiding conversations about race relations because an overheard repeated insult might just earn me an ass whooping. Sure, I could dart my eyes around and breathlessly whisper, “Then he said the N-word!” But seriously, now! The N-word? Are we fucking children here?

Nigger. There, I said it.

What’s more is that lots of other people still say it, too. They just say it quietly and behind closed doors. Race relations have not improved just because white people know that black people have guns now, too.

My questions is: How are we supposed to improve race relations if we’re too scared to talk about them?

Also, am I allowed you call you gay? Or do I have to sound all dry and technical and say ‘Homosexual?’ I am not scared or intimidated because you enjoy ... in your .... On the contrary, I applaud you because a ... in the ... never caused an accidental pregnancy and I’m all for less episodes of ‘Super Nanny.’ I have absolutely no religious objections to man on man love and I think pearls look pretty on boys. My only beef is that I’m not sure what I’m allowed to call you anymore. On top of that, I’m not sure what I’m allowed to call my brother anymore. I used to call him a fag, but I don’t want you to be offended when I insult my fucking brother.

Again: How are we supposed to learn that you’re just like us (only with better fashion sense) if we avoid interaction with you simply because we don’t want to accidentally offend?

Additionally, will you men please stop apologizing after you say anything that can even remotely be seen as sexist? If you quote a statistic you read that says women aren’t usually as good at math as men, I promise I won’t run out of the room in tears. I know that you are not implying that a scientific study totally absent of gender bias proves that women couldn’t possibly be good at math EVER so I should get back into the kitchen RIGHT NOW and make you a chicken pot pie; you are simply pointing out that men, as a whole, are a little better at math. The truth is I’m not good at math. And that’s ok because I do own a calculator. Men and women are different sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they are fundamentally unequal. I’m ok with that. So stop apologizing.

Besides, it would be kind of hypocritical of me to bitch and moan that men don’t understand women only to take offense every time you delve into our brains.

All Muslims are terrorists. Jews are stingy with their money. Chinese women all know how to put on acrylic fingernails. Christians are bigots. Hispanics know everything there is to know about drywall. If you’re a geeky teenage boy and you read a book about vampires, you’ll shoot up your school.

Is any of this shit true? I’d ask, but I don’t want to offend.

Political correctness does not create a more tolerant society. It creates a society of people secretly consumed by resentment because one honest slip of the tongue can earn them a label as an intolerant boob. Political correctness limits speech and creates hatred where none existed in the first place.

I have an idea; how about we drop all this politically correct bullshit? How about we all talk to each other openly and honestly without making certain words off limits and without deeming certain subject taboo? How about we eliminate the fear of offending our fellow man and replace it with an honest attempt at understanding our fellow man? Go ahead, ask me anything. I won’t cry and I won’t tell you what a bad person you are. In return, however, I might want to ask you a couple of questions. Please don’t pistol whip me because you didn’t like my phrasing. Real tolerance comes from education, so let’s all quit being afraid to raise our hands in class.

We might just end up loving each other after all. Or we might end up hating each others' guts. But, either way, we’ll be loving and hating for all the right reasons.

Have a great spring break, everyone.